The first most important thing in MensGroup is showing up. The second is how you communicate.
Because we are all trying to get better with our relationships, these guidelines can apply to our lives outside of MensGroup as much as it does our meetings:
1. Don't Ramble
Nobody likes a rambler. Sounds harsh, but it's true! Do you best to keep things concise. Spare the details and then share them when guys ask questions. Especially when you are offering feedback. Don't burn other's valuable time on a tangent. We try to limit an intro or update to 2 mins and feedback to 30 seconds. If you offer good feedback, the man in the hot seat will ask you follow up questions that can take up more time.
2. Don't Tell Others What To Do!
Avoid words like "should", "would" or "could". You should to this. You could do that. Instead share your own experience. This is what I did. This is what I learned. This is what I would do different next time.
3. Use "I" Statements
A lot of people speak with "you" statements instead of "I" statements when talking about uncomfortable subjects. "You know when you do X thing and you feel X.", or "When they do X thing and they get X", instead of saying "I did this and here is what I felt". I statements help you take more ownership and can lead to more realizations and growth.
4. Raise Your Hand To Speak
Not because we are in elementary school being called on by the teacher, but because there is lag on Zoom. It's easy to talk over one another. So please raise your hand on zoom video to speak.
5. Mute Your Mic When Others Talk
As much fun as it is hearing you breathing in the background or having your mic rub against your beard, please mute your mic when you're not talking. It makes the meeting a lot easier for everyone to hear!
6. No Self Promotion
We don't care of they topic at hand is directly related to what you do, don't pitch your offering in the forum or in a meeting. If you are chatting with a guy and he asks, great! But we don't want tons of guys selling their stuff in the community.
7. Be Direct
If something rubs you the wrong way, address it. Bring it up! Don't point fingers or call names, but it is okay to share how something that someone said or did made you feel. Wether it be your group facilitator or another members, feel free to call things as you see it. We encourage supportive, direct communication here at MensGroup. Supportive, direct feedback can be very impactful on a guy.
8. Share Resources
We encourage you to share resources that you found helpful on your personal growth journey: books, podcasts, blogs, interviews, films, therapies etc.
9. Enjoy Some Laughs
The medical literature states that laughter is one of the most healing things a human can do. Don't be afraid to slip in a joke or have a laugh at your own expense. Just don't make jokes about other member's sensitive matters.