1. Get Involved To Get More Out Of It
The guys who get the most from MensGroup - the most growth, conversations, friendships and other benefits - are the guys who get out of the stands and onto the field. Leave a supportive comment, post some questions, attend a drop-in meeting, send a guy a direct message. The more action you take - in a calibrated manner - the more you will get from the community. What's the worst that could happen? Give it a shot man!
2. Givers Gain
It may seem counterintuitive, but in a community like this, it's the guys that GIVE the most that end up benefiting the most. We don't mean just the intrinsic reward from giving - feeling good about yourself. We mean the social capital you gain by doing good for other people. You become known as a good, supportive guy and guys will recommend you. Conversations, friendships and other opportunities will begin to come your way. We've seen it time and time again, GIVERS GAIN!
3. We Have An ASK Culture
You may feel hesitant to post questions or comments in our discussion forums or zoom meetings. Many guys feel like they don't want to "take" from the group or be a burden. The reality is that your questions and the answers that result will help other guys with their situations. Your ask will benefit everyone else.
4. State What You Need
We sometimes have guys half ask for something. On meetings a guy might say "I could talk about this thing, but it's not a big deal. Other guys can go first." and then they throw a hissy fit later over the fact that their topic wasn't prioritized. The MensGroup team and your group mates can't read your mind. Be honest. Ask for what you need.
5. Be Direct: Offer Feedback
You aren't happy with how a group-mate is communicating during meetings? We encourage you to share that in a constructive, supportive manner. Not happy with a part of MensGroup? Tell your group leader or the MensGroup team. These are opportunities to learn how to communicate better.
6. Keep An Open Mind
We have men from all different background, races, places, vocations and sexual preferences. Some of the topics you may encounter in MensGroup may feel uncomfortable. Do your best to keep an open mind and do not judge. We've observed that it's often the men who are most different from you that can offer the most impactful feedback, because they're coming from a different place than you. Other times, these men that seem SO different from you in your mind end up expressing they are facing the same challenge as you. Keep an open mind.
7. Invite Feedback
Direct feedback can be like rocket fuel for our personal growth. Sometimes it's hard to hear. Other times it can HURT. Do your best to keep an open heart and mind. You are not being attacked. Try not to get defensive. Ask questions. Perhaps even welcome or - dare we suggest - ASK for feedback.
8. Bring Your Sense Of Humour
We would never encourage men to laugh at each other, but we do try to instil a light hearted energy into our conversations. Lots of guys laugh about themselves. You'll often find your moderator slipping in little light-hearted jokes or comments to keep things from getting too dark at times.